Mark Twain

These are sad days in literature. Homer is dead. Shakespeare is dead. And I myself am not feeling at all well.

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

But the severest thing that has been said about Palestine was said here in Jerusalem. A pilgrim with his periodical ecstasy upon him (it usually comes in a flush of happiness after dinner) finished his apostophe with, “O, that I could be here at the Second Advent!”

A grave gentleman said, “It will not occur in Palestine.”

“What”

“The Second Advent will take place elsewhere–possibly in America.”

“Blasphemy!”

“I speak reasonably. You are in the Holy Land. You have seen the Holy Land once?”

“Yes.”

“Shall you ever want to come here again?”

“Well–no.”

“My friend, the Savior has been here once!”